Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
Summary
If you’re interested intellectually in seduction and how it has played a role in history, this book is an interesting read. It extends beyond romantic seduction and discusses how to seduce people in politics, social settings, and more. You’ll learn about the psychology of seduction, how different styles work and why they work, and how you can leverage seduction in your life. I only made it about 70% through this book as it’s quite long.
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Key Takeaways
Part 1: The Seductive Character
Rake: insatiable adoration for the opposite sex; their desire infectious
Ability to let yourself go & go further than anyone else without worrying about the response. They exist for a specific women alone, regardless of the number of past romances or obstacles in the way; tabs into the social taboo of women to be the virtuous and tempering members of society; people want to tame the rake and help him.
Ideal lover: artist in creating and fulfilling your idea of romance
Requires intense patience, attention to detail, and focus on other person. Casanova most successful seducer in history; few women could resist him. His method was simple: on meeting a woman, he would study her, go along with her moods, find out what was missing in her life, and provide it. Often related to what we feel we should be or have in the world.
Dandy: more ambiguous and fluid with their images
They don’t give a fuck about pleasing other people; they please by displeasing
Charmer
Not through sex, focuses on the other; hit the persons ego and sense of self worth; use energy and charisma; show a calm exterior in the face of adversity, never whine, complain, or explain. Reveal your humanness through disclosing a dislike or something frank from time to time, also learn to turn off your charm
Charismatic
Seduce on grand scale, radiate intensity while remaining detached. Self belief, boldness, serenity and contentment without appearance of conscious effort. Eloquence is essential; words can be used to create emotions, phrases to repeat, becoming dynamic speaker. Have deep values and faith to give people something to rally behind. More sexual, less fear.
The Guru
Radiate enlightenment and candescence, be content and detached. How you leave a place is important as that memory will be held onto (move slowly Must be a follower of his own words.
The mythic star
Taps into unconscious, not conscious group identity.
Anti-seducers
- Biggest commonality: insecurity
- The brute: impatient
- Suffocators: cling until you’re forced to fall back
- Moralizar: want to change you, can’t adapt and enloy
- Being a windbag
- Reacting too much
- Assuming that your seduction cannot be refused
- Someone looking for perfection and can’t see individual qualities
- Victims: characterized by what they’re missing in life
Reformed rake or siren
Feel resentment or sense of loss from past; want sense of excitement again.
Disappointed dreamer
Disappointed by compromising for the petty and imperfect humans, but they are still looking for the grand adventures or romance
The pampered royal
Bored and restless in adulthood; habit and routine is boring, but need for variety causes problems in career and relationships; want spoiling they crave
The new prude
Goodness, fairness, political sensitivity; tempted by danger.
The crushed star
Play charmer and make them center of attention.
Novice
Have playful spirit but also darn side, make everything romantic.
The conquerer
Love power and let them think they have overwhelmed you.
Part 2: The Seductive Process
Phase 1: Stirring Interest & Desire
- Approach people who you are genuinely aroused by and interested in. Don’t waste time on busy people.
- Approach indirectly. Don’t let anyone in on your plans or intentions.
- Send mixed signals: air of mystery and depth, radiating mystery is a skill
- Appear to be object of desire (surround yourself with rival filled triangles); reveal past triumphs
- Bring doubts and insecurities to the surface to fill our doubts or emptiness
- Master the art of insinuation; be suggestive and pull back: operate on subconscious
- Enter their spirit
- Create temptation: play on the you want what you can’t have dynamic; go for people who are taken and never let appearances deceive you
- Create elusion that through you their dreams and excitement will come true
Phase 2: Lead Astray – Creating Pleasure & Confusion
- Suddenness can be a good tactic to reduce any sense of planning
- poeticize your presence – subtle inconsistency and changes in behavior
- Subtle revealing of insecurities, be a little feminine
Phase 3: The Precipice – Deepening the Effect Through Extreme Measures
- Resistance means that people are emotionally engaged
- Play the therapist, listen cool, calmly and blankly, allow person to regress back to childhood and feel
- Innocence is highly seductive; give people the ability to explore their dark sides
- Use spiritual lures
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